These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.

Dahl, R. (1988). Matilda. Jonathon Cape

It’s back to school season and you know what that means, nurse visits, backaches and sick days galore! Time to jump onto the back of the garbage truck and sing “Good Morning Baltimore.” Let’s be honest; getting your tired ass outta bed every morning somewhere between five and seven AM is the definition of struggle. So, take that and add illness, plus an insurmountable amount of catch up work, on top of regular work. Now I know, I know, math ew. But the answer to that equation is a chronically ill child, who becomes even more sick than usual. As I’m writing this, we’ve been at school for exactly seven days, however, I’ve been there for only four. Like I said, sick days galore!

For me, and chronically ill youth, school is a bit trickier. Instead of a back to school picture, mum took a back to the doctor’s picture. Recording the first infection of the school year with a picture of me holding a prescription and sample. Just the other day, I had a conversation with a previous teacher, and he was saying he warned a current teacher that I often fall asleep in class. And to let me sleep because I need it had probably had a tough night health-wise or maybe currently have an infection. Now, this gave me a hell of a laugh, considering I just came from Math class… where I slept through about half the class. Honestly staying awake through the entirety of a lesson, even an exciting one (not often math) is more difficult than finding Wally in a sea of red and white stripes.

School, including transport there and back, can take anywhere from eight to nine hours. Our grade gets about four hours of homework every day and I still have to dedicate about two hours for treatment and such. Then, of course, there’s another two hours for the basic animalistic habits, feeding, and grooming. Could’ve just said eating and showering but hey, I’m weird. Now I wouldn’t trust my math here but that simply doesn’t add up. That’s around seventeen hours of guaranteed work. With twenty-four hours in a day, it’s too much. I can hardly achieve my needed twenty-two-hour koala coma. Trying to do all of it, I get sick. It’s simply too much.

Taking it back to the Spoon Theory, you only have your set number of spoons, you can only complete what your body warrants, you need to make cuts. Decide what is important to do and what you can. This in the long term, however, gets a bit more complicated. The missed work and assessments start to pile up. That absentee rate at a constant rise. When you’re not at school, it makes it harder to get back. When you’re constantly behind, it makes it harder to keep up. This is where you decide to go Gilmore… but which Gilmore Girl?

You could attempt an Emily Gilmore, where you essentially ignore the issue and still are stuck on those high standards and expectations. You may attempt to push your limits in meeting those high standards and while it may work in the short term, you’re likely to burn out in a matter of days. This essentially doesn’t factor in the illness thus losing more energy rapidly. I’m going to be blunt, it’s stupid. You are less able than the regular student and while sometimes it means doing more, sometimes it means accepting that you can’t do the same. Putting in 110% means chipping into the next day’s energy. This is a self-destructive decision. Essentially making you sick. Consider swapping those three cups of coffee with herbal tea… or some homemade twinkies?

The next option is Lorelai Gilmore. Now I don’t recommend teen pregnancy, – hey no hate – but the premise remains the same in that she wasn’t physically able to continue, so after trying she stopped her schooling. For the chronically ill, sometimes you just can’t get to school, and that’s okay. You can try with all your might but if your body simply isn’t allowing it, then it may be time to listen. School is a lot of pressure and a lot of work. While it may not seem as demanding a task as I’m making it out to be, imagine all week trying to go about your day, never once dropping that heavy backpack, not even being able to adjust the strap. That’s what it’s like for someone with chronic illness. School for everyone has mental ramifications, but for the chronically ill it also has physical ones in which can be immobilising. Take a break. Lay out a feast. Watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. And remember, Lorelai went back to school when she was able to, stopping doesn’t have to permanent unless you want it to be.

The final Gilmore Girl is of course Rory. Rory who is determined and smart and loves to smell books. Who started a new school months behind and made it all up. Sometimes when you’re ill and struggling with school, it isn’t education in general, it could be that particular school. The curriculum is too advanced, the school is on a hill, it simply doesn’t cater to your needs. This may mean you should look at the particular school you’re studying at, is it the right fit?

Then there’s the art we’re all familiar with, catch up. I’m pretty sure over half my high school career has been spent catching up. I drown in the missed lessons, assessments, homework, everything. When you are sick, you fall behind. The workload can become too much in the second you needed to leave class for painkillers. If this is the case, well, why not pull a Rory? The life of a book sniffer may not seem all that enviable, but she put in enough work to catch up. Catching up is possible. While being sick, you may not be able to put in all your effort, but anything is better than nothing. And not everything is of importance. 

Do you remember Amelia? The Stranger Things embodiment and another fun fact, an avid Fortniter. When asked happened to her education when she got sick, this was her response: “When I first got sick my school at the time was really understanding and they did the best they could to help me manage my education. But just because it’s a sort of specialty school, obviously we had to seek other options. We looked at different types of schools but the one that I’m doing now is just a TAFE course for six months. It gets me my year eleven education and that’s all from home.” In this process, Amelia pulled both a Lorelai and a Rory. She tried her options. Didn’t succeed for a while. Then she did. She is now getting an education without risking her health. Personally, I think there is nothing more impressive than that.

Being sick and going to school isn’t a given. It can be wanted, not guaranteed. You can try and still fail but then it’s up to you to try again. My mum says, “we’re sick, we have to try a bit harder than everyone else.” I say “I am sick, sometimes I have to try harder than everyone else, sometimes I can’t try as hard as everyone else. I am sick and I try.”.

References:

Australian Koala Foundation. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.savethekoala.com/about-koalas/frequently-asked-questions

But You Don’t Look Sick? The Spoon Theory. [PDF File]. Retrieved from https://cdn.totalcomputersusa.com/butyoudontlooksick.com/uploads/2010/02/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

Gilmore Girls. (2000, October 5). Retrieved from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0238784/

hairspraysongs. (2007, December 30). Retrieved February 12, 2020, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjjWJEeVpBw

Stranger Things. (2016, July 15). Retrieved from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4574334/

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. (1971, June 30). Retrieved from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067992/